Saturday, December 12, 2015

To Be Remembered

  


Paulo Coelho once stated that "we all have a personal legend" and that "the whole universe will conspire in helping us to achieve it'.  A personal legend is basically our purpose in life, it's not so much our journey but our destination. It's our treasure that we search for, the identity that we desperately need, and the mark that we leave behind.

As an 18 years old and in a freshman in college I have yet to know exactly what my personal legend is, but I do know what it may contain. I know that finding it might take me a half a lifetime and understanding it might take. Another half but I know for sure that I will find it.
I know that my mission in life involves saving someone's life, and changing someone's life one day at a time. I've always been fascinated with giving back, bringing people together, loving someone in the purest way, learning, growing, sharing, inspiring others, and most of all lifting others up.
I've always had this big heart and all I've ever really wanted to do was to make a difference in my life, in my love one's life and others. I've always tried to be the light when darkness creeps around the corners. I know that going further parts of my mission will to guide someone in their darkest time….We all need a little guidance sometimes.

I've always sat down and listened to people stories but wasn't just any kind of stories, it was their stories. The stories that broke them, the stories that made them, the stories that were not written but always spoke of. They were told from the best hearts and listen by the most sincere ears. They were passed down from generation to generation, I think caring and understanding are my strongest traits.

So when I died, I want to be remembered as the girl who had an amazing heart. I want to be remembered as the girl with the warmest smile, the girl that change lives and touch so many people in the most wonderful ways. I want to be remembered as the girl who loves to her fullest potential, the caregiver.  I want to be remembered as someone who lived and not just survived, as someone who cares for others, as someone who brought joy to a lot of people. I want to be remembered as someone who was kind, strong, independent, and a rebel. 

I want to be remembered as a teacher but also a student. I want people to remember me as a daughter, a sister, a future wife, a future mother, a friend, a best friend, and a soul mate. I want to be remembered as someone who conquered her deepest challenge, as someone who never gave up her dreams and others, I want to be remembered as someone who stood up for the right things, and fought for all the right reasons.

I want to be remembered for the mistake that I have made but every good I did to fix them. When I die I want my life to be celebrated by my love one's because I will now be amongst the stars.


She was here

She lived a live full of purpose and joy
She never let the struggle destroy
Her company was something most people enjoy

She was here

She dedicated her time on giving back
It didn't matter if you were black

She was here

She change a few lives
But touch any more lifes

She was here

She had such a big heart
She eye for art
She was such a sweetheart

She was here

She was a daughter
A sister
A mother

She was here

She was Loving
She was Caring
She was forgiving


She was here

Full of lights
Crystal bright
She loved to write
Now she's amongst the stars shining our darkest nights

She was here

She lived

She loved

She did

She's done

May her Life be Celebrated

And her soul in Peace

She was here...








Sunday, December 6, 2015

Gratitude in the workplace

I am currently an employee at Skywalk observatory at the prudential tower on the 50th floor. I began working there in August this year and so far I like it. While many looks come to Skywalk just for the view, others come for it's rich and amazing history exhibit about the roles that immigrants have played in building Boston. If you're someone who's fascinated with scenery then Skywalk would be the perfect place to visit and you’re a true Bostonian Skywalk is the place to be. I can honestly say that I'm grateful to for the job at Skywalk.




My favorite part about working in skywalk is definitely the diversity. A majority of the workers are from places like Morocco, Brazil, China, Guatemala, Ecuador, Colombia, Eritrea and many more. I'm thankful for how caring and sweet some of the workers are. Thankful for the close working relationship that I’ve built with some of them. I'm thankful for the opportunity to meet people all over the world during tours. I’m thankful for the breathtaking view, practicing my patient, communication and the chance to improve my French. Most importantly I’m thankful for this job because it allows me to care of some of the most important things in life.




Happiness is everywhere in life you just have to stop and take a moment to realize them. I’m extremely grateful for everything that my life contains the good and the bad. Working at skywalk is something I know I don't want to do for the rest of my life or even for the next 3 years, but I am definitely thankful for the opportunity and the experience there. Thankful because it allows to make a stable living, and improve my resume. Maybe it’s not my dream me but it’s one of the few frogs I have to kiss to get to my dream.



_________________________________________________________________________________


About Me

Well my is name Dounegere
I can say that it's nice to meet you
But I guess it something you already knew
I'm really feeling this view

You can say that I'm always alert
So I stay away from hurt
I'm always pretty fair
which is sometimes ware

I'm pretty ambitious
I guess it's my motive
You know hard working
Is the motto
Gotta make success into the Logo

I'm tri-lingual
which I guess makes me universal
I'm pretty persistent
If its in existence

It can be conquered.................




















Sunday, November 29, 2015

3 Future and Grace



















Ideal Future- Plan A 

My ideal future includes me being working in the hospital as a pediatric nurse practitioner; it’s always been my dream job. I will live in a really nice, warm cozy house with 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a decent living room, dining room, kitchen, family room, basement, attic, a big yard, garage and a nice decorative porch. I don't really know about marriage yet, but I'll be with a long time partner with two beautiful kids. In my ideal future, I see myself being financially stable meaning I'm not living paycheck to paycheck but I'm not “balling” out either. I'm still debating if I want to stay in America or move somewhere else like Canada. Hopefully, I will be still working with OSDPC, and traveling to Haiti in the summer time not only to give back but for my kids to get know their background and history. In my ideal future, I find inner peace and true happiness. All my hard work is rewarded, and so much more.


















The twist

In life, we should always expect the unexpected. We should always know that nothing goes according to plan, and plans are going to change just like our future. A twist that may happen in the future that I plan is finding my dream guy and getting the opportunity to go to Africa for a year as a nurse. The twist would be that I would have to choose between my dream man and the opportunity I’ve always wanted. If I go to Africa I'll be doing so many amazing work, in the field that I love,  I will be meeting all of these amazing people, but I will be giving up something I never thought I could find. If I stay I would probably be is that myself for giving up an amazing opportunity and deep down inside I wouldn't happen. The twisted plot is choosing between my heart and my passion.
















Alternative- Plan B

I don’t end up with a Ph.D. in science, but instead I get a degree in psychology and I become a counselor in a high school and teach part at a college. Besides teaching, I work as an interpreter and travel around the world. I get to do all this amazing things and meet all these amazing people. In the summer, I spent a lot of time Europe, studying languages and culture.  I live in a modern loft and I have a long time boyfriend that works in the entertainment industry. Even if it is not what I plan, I'm still very happy. “In whatever situation you're in, try to find happiness.”




Grace is…

Grace is awakening
I feel its presence
I understand what is coming
I appreciate all that is conspiring
I accepted my reality
And I remove all my illusion

Grace is connection
No words are needed
Just let yourself feel
Let the love within flows
Knowing that we connected
We are all one

Grave is faith
The thoughts of the things to come
The drive to keep going
To keep pushing for all that you want
To know that challenge lay ahead
And continue the fight

Grace is a flow
Something you can’t control
It’s our journey
Not such so much our destination
Grace is freedom
Grace is anything and everything………..























Sunday, November 22, 2015

Into the Future

I want a PhD in science.












Future Road trip to all 50 States!









A future Pediatric Nurse practitioner.

















I want to live in Africa for at least a year after I get my degree in Science




















                                                                                      Like anyone else, traveling is a dream of mine.




Finding inner peace is something I strive for, and finding it will bring me so much joy.

















A vision of my dream house.Not to be big or small.

                                                                                     











One of my dream car; A dodge.

                                                                        .





We all need someone! A beautiful friendship that can later lead to a relationship, then marriage.






A beautiful, loving family.
















         
Going back home.














Opening a clinic in Haiti is a dream that I hope becomes reality.




Even though I have a fear of height, I've always wanted to skydive.













Giving back in as many ways as I can.






Just live life













_________________________________________________________________________________




In the Future I see….

In the future I see
Signs of celebrations
Caps are being toss
Toast are being made
Laughter in the air

In the Future I see
Cars and planes
And many foreign things
I see the city lights
As I am boarding my flight

In the future I see
Blue and white light
As nurses comes and goes
IVs hanging of the walls
As people get help

In the future I see
Him; someone I’ve yet to meet
But I know I will love
I see him, I see love
I see rose pedals and the words ‘I DO”

In the future I see
Two people I’ve yet to meet
But I already love
I see them running around making a mess
And I know there blessing waiting to happen

In the future I see
My birth land Haiti
And a clinic waiting to be open.
I see help being giving
And everyone I love

In the future I see
Obstacle that are waiting to be conquer
Mountains to be climb
Tears that will be shed
But I know I will come out victorious

In the future I see, everything I want and so much more.

















                                                                                    



Sunday, November 15, 2015

Passion


In this hard life of ours passion is something we all need to survive. In a lot of ways we are all driven by passion and you can say that it is the “oxygen to the soul”. Being such an intense emotion passion can be divided into four categories and like everything in life there're two sides of passion; the pleasure and the pain. 

Passion is something that grows by the moment, it is something that you can never run out of, and it can either drive you to the most wonderful places or the darkest; it all depends on you. Personally for me I have varieties of passions, from the relationships with different people in my life to learning new and exciting things, music, my culture, cooking, organizing, travelling, giving back and many more. Everything I just listed is the things I do with great love and excitement.  They are some of the things that bring me joy in life, and if I could do one thing for the rest of my days of earth it would working as an NP in some hospital or clinic.




Ever since I could remember, I’ve always had the passion for giving back and making a huge difference in my community. I wanted to change lives, and I know I had to start with mine. When the time came to pick a career I was always stuck between being a teacher and a nurse, but as time pass by I started leaning towards nursing more, and more. Being a nurse has always been a dream of mine, and making it as my career will connect and allow me to give back while making a different.  I remember the days when I would volunteer at the nursing home and the joy I would get helping the elders made the feel so warm on the coldest days.  The thought of connecting my passion with my career is something that brings me joy, and excitement.


My passion has always been to make a difference within my community and my surroundings so my target is everyone that needs helps. One of the things I really want to do is to open a clinic in Haiti someday. In this clinic, people with low income will be granted free vaccines and medicine.  This is a chance to give back to my home, and I am willing to fight any cause that support service to those in need. Haiti is one the places that I hold dearly to my heart, and giving back to the people there while doing what I love is definitely a passion fulfilled.



La Passion
It’s the desire that burn inside
The pleasure you crave so deeply
The things you indulge in
La passion
Is the way you love me
The way you hold in your arm
It'syour smile
La passion
Is knowing the power you have
The lives you may change
The people you may touch
La passion
Is the thing that drives you
Is the motivation to success
It’s the fight to making your dream reality
La passion
Is the art I admire
The lyrics that pour out the words that my heart wants to yell out
It’s the stories that we connect to
La passion
Is the proposal
The discovery
The energy
The lust
The obsession
The pleasure and the pain
La passion


It’s the desire that burn inside
The pleasure you crave so deeply
The things you indulge in
La passion
Is the way you love me
The way you hold in your arm
It your smile
La passion
Is knowing the power you have
The lives you may change
The people you may touch
La passion
Is the thing that drives you
Is the motivation to success
It’s the fight to making your dream reality
La passion
Is the art I admire
The lyrics that pour out the words that my heart wants to yell out
It’s the stories that we connect to
La passion
Is the proposal
The discovery
The energy
The lust
The obsession
The pleasure and the pain
La passion


La Passion
It’s the desire that burn inside
The pleasure you crave so deeply
The things you indulge in
La passion
Is the way you love me
The way you hold in your arm
It your smile
La passion
Is knowing the power you have
The lives you may change
The people you may touch
La passion
Is the thing that drives you
Is the motivation to success
It’s the fight to making your dream reality
La passion
Is the art I admire
The lyrics that pour out the words that my heart wants to yell out
It’s the stories that we connect to
La passion
Is the proposal
The discovery
The energy
The lust
The obsession
The pleasure and the pain
La passion


Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Gratitude

For the past two weeks, I have sat and thought about this post. I thought about how to begin and what to write, but nothing seem to work or came out right. It’s not because it is a difficult topic, but because how ungrateful you are sometimes. As the seasons of thanks, approach, it is time to show our gratitude; so this week post is about the things that I am grateful for, and the things I take for granted.


The things I take for granted
It’s so easy to take the things and the people in our life for granted. It is not because we are selfish but because we get so use to them in our daily life, so we stop admiring and caring for them as much. Growing up I was always told that you should never take anything for granted, and I’ve always tried my best and I know that I have failed severely. What do you take for granted he asks; my response is a lot.
 I take life and everything that comes with it for granted. I take the gift of waking up every day without no injuries, no illness, and no disability for granted. I take the meals I have for granted, the clean water I use, the clothes I wear, the access to information, electricity, education, but most importantly I take my freedom for granted.



I'm grateful for...
The root of joy is gratefulness and you may think that life suck, but there’s always something to be grateful for. Personally for me I’m extremely grateful for my family.  Yes, they are crazy and dysfunctional but, they give me life, they bring a lot of happiness.  I’m thankful for great friends that support me and help through the rough time. I'm thankful for having a place to call home. I'm thankful for the ability to feel love, to laugh, to forgive and to learn. I'm thankful my job, my health, the meals I have every day, the bed where I sleep, and many more. I thankful for everything I’ve been through, and everything that I have gained. I’m truly grateful for everything.


Absorb
Since we are always in a rush to get to the next thing we seem to forget to live and absorb all the good things in our “present moment. We need to appreciate all the good things before they become old memories that bring us smiles and warmth. As for me, I need to begin to absorb the happiness I get from all the times I’ve spent with my grandmother. Instead of getting sad about the thought of losing her, I need to begin to smile for all the time I spend talking to her, laughing, hugging her, and seeing her smile. I need to start enjoying the time I spend with my mother much more, and the times my brother and I spend just driving around at 2. Am eating ice cream. I need to absorb the memories of best friends and me looking for mermaid every Friday nights. I need to take in the lessons I’ve learned from every experience I went through and every obstacle I’ve overcome. These are the memories I need to remember and hold on to in my darkness time. Enjoy everyone you love and everything because nothing last forever, before you know everything become memories. 



Crystal clear blue sky
How soft the birds sing
How smooth the wind blows

Our late night talks
Silly dance parties
That family bond

Eating your cooking
Your loving embrace
How worried you get

Our late night drives
Really loud music
The taste of ice cream

The bed I lay on
A place to call home
The people I love

For all of these and many more I’m thankful…..









Sunday, October 25, 2015

Something about fear

Intro
This week, I get a little a more personal as we enter some of my fears, asset and obstacles I had/have to overcome. 






       Fears

   I could sit here and tell you a million quotes about conquering our fears, but what good is that going to do. Yeah! For a minute, we get inspired and try to fight that feeling and tell yourself that our fears are not real but that’s we go wrong. Our fears are very much real and that's what we fail to realize. What we feel is real but at the same time it is an illusion, it is a story that we tell our self, it's an excuse. Sometimes it hard to distinguish reality from an illusion that our mind created. You see, growing up I was afraid of what every other kid were afraid of, spiders, snakes, the monsters under my bed, clowns, and many more. But one fear that never left me throughout my life is the fear of losing the people I love most. I know what you're thinking, Downey you do know everyone dies, and the answer is yes I do, but that is something I could never get over.  Right now there are two people in my life that I am terrified to lose; my dad and grandmother. My fear doesn't come from them actually dying but from the last thing I say to them.
      I fear that if my father dies right now I would not be able to attend his funeral nor would I be able to say a proper goodbye. Miles away from him, in another country where am I going to get the money or the time to go all the way to Haiti to bury him? I've spent so much time being angry at him to finally forgive him and now slowly losing him. And God forbid if my grandmother dies right now, I feel like my whole family will fall apart. She's the only glue that keeps all of us together, and rather than us coming together as a family, we'll go our separate ways. You see, my fears are no longer spiders, snakes, the monsters under my bed, heights, but they are the fear of losing the people closest to my heart. This is no longer an illusion or story that I'm telling myself, this is my reality. This is me trying to accept that death is always going to be here, alway going to be my biggest fear. It's not the thought dying, but the thought of losing them. That’s what scared me every time the phone rings.


To me, a life without obstacles is a life that's not worth living. I believe that we are all created for a special purpose and the obstacles in our life are the things that give us power, strength, and make us who we are. We can complain about the problems that we have, but let's be honest what the point of living without a purpose is. We all have obstacles and we all face them differently, but what we do have in common is that when we over of overcome those obstacles we gain so much.  So far in my life I had to face many, from grief to relationships, to time, to the decisions that I made, illness, emotions, and many more. But one of the hardest thing I had to do it was brief. I've never really been the emotional type or the sad girl, but when I brief I tend to shut down, push everyone away from me and pack with anger. I've come to find that we all deal with grief in our different ways, but I have yet to find a healthy way to deal with losing someone.
 About a year ago I lost one of my brothers, and I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurt and how numb I felt very long time. I knew this time that had to fight it. I had to fight the anger, pushing people away, not wanting to get help, and not wanting to feel pain. Grief is one of the things reminds us that we are human because we actually get to feel. Without the obstacles in our life, we wouldn't be where we are today. We wouldn't be as strong as we are right now in this current moment.  I do believe that every obstacle can be defeated, they can be overcome. Maybe not be forever but you can overcome almost anything. Obstacles are here to challenge and with every challenge there's a way of defeat.


    

Assets
I found that knowing our assets help us in conquering our fear and defeating our obstacles. A lot of fears comes from not being good enough, not being strong enough, not being smart enough. Well take a moment and think about the things that you're good at, the strength and talent that you have. Think about the things that you love about yourself, the things that you are proud of, and a lot of times those things help you conquer your fear. For me, when I am about to take on one of my fears, I think about how strong I am because of my past experiences, and about a how passionate I am.  I think about how I try to remain positive in a lot of negative moments. See the good in yourself, think of all the things that you have gained from your past experiences and use that to help you face your fears. Know that you're not alone, you have yourself, you have your experiences, you have your strength, and you have so many things that you don't know. Our fears belong to us and the only way we can defeat it is to know who we are. Try not to say I can't, or I'm not good enough but try I can, and I am. Try acceptance and Get to know yourself, get to new fear and start overcoming them.







Something about fear

Something about fear
 Makes me so unclear
Whenever it’s near
I seem to a shed a tear
It’s calling me dear

Mr. Fear, Mrs. Fear

I can see them coming
My heart is drumming
My mind is running
My body is numbing

Mr. Fear, Mrs. Fear

I’m have no control
I’m slowly losing my soul
I start to feel cold
I’m not playing this role

Mr. Fear, Mrs. Fear

Please let me go
My tears starts to flow

Mr. Fear, Mrs. Fear

Please go away

You win once again.























            
                

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Present moment

This week I read an article about living in the present and I can honestly that it capture my attention. One of the things it asks was “are you living in the present?” and I got to say I have no answer to such a simple question. So this week, ask yourself the same question and try to really reflect on it. Today’s post is about present moments. Hope you enjoy it.







Future Carrer
Lately, I’ve struggling to make a decision about an actual career. As the semester comes to an end, I really have to think about the next step, and I can’t just keep take classes that are not going towards my degree. Ever I was a little girl I’ve knew that I wanted to be a nurse, and that was the plan until I started working as a counselor.
 I begin to take an interest in teaching kids, and it brings a lot of joy, but it started confusing me in so many ways. Throughout high school, I did everything that involve being a nurse, and I love each part of the medical field. It guarantees a job in the future, and I know I’m going to love it, but I love teaching as well. The thing with teaching is there’s no absolute guarantee of a job when you graduate, and it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. I know for both path, it’s not going to be easy, and failure is not an opinion. So, now how I do choose between my dream career and a career I just let in love with? Maybe I’ll just do both.




Something about letting go
How do you know when to let go? How do you know when you’re actually ready to let go?  Is there a sign that you get, or a talk you have with yourself?  At that moment do you listen to your heart or your mind? I never understood how people are so quick to walk away, like how do you walk from years of history and chemistry. When did you tell yourself that this person wasn’t worth fighting for anymore? I’ve always told myself that “we don’t give up on the people that we love”, but lately I came to the conclusion that, giving up and walking away is sometimes the best we can do for ourselves. At that moment, we don’t listen to our heart, or our mind, we listen to our soul. We have to find the pain, the tears, and then ask ourselves, is this what I deserve? Do I love myself more than that person? Is the situation slowly taking the light inside of you, is it slowly killing your happiness and if you answer yes, that’s when, that's when you should away Because no one deserve to be strip off their happiness, and their light. Love may be a lot of things, but it’s not everything.


What now?
Right, I am thinking about a way to end this week post, and nothing really come to mind no surprise there. Weeks after weeks I struggle on what I should write and picture I should include, but this it was a little different, the pictures was an easy choice, the words, on the other hand, was personal, and they came from me, not responses to question, but from me, and my thought. As I end this week post, I have a few thing to say, a few advice to give.  Number one, stop try trying to survive and start living. Number two, breathe and actually breath, and not just to survive but  to feel. Number three, be who you truly are because you are beautiful; more than you can ever know. 





When I stop, I notice
When I stop
I notice how green the trees are
How lovely the birds sing
How soft the wind blew
How beautiful nature really is

When I stop, I notice
That a smile can bring you warmth
That love is everywhere
Hugs can keep you safe
And hope keeps us going

When I stop I notice
How chaotic it really is
How corrupt we really are
We are beyond lost souls
We currently blind

When I stop, I notice
That we are no longer searching for monsters
Because we have become them
We longer fear
Because we have become the fears

When I stop I notice
 That the world is nothing but a dark paradise
Filled with nothing but beautiful beast

When I stop I notice
I see the beauty behind the beast
And beast behind the beauty

When I stop, I notice
The blinded truth