Power

This is a story of me finding my voice that was so deeply hidden.

My senior year in high school, I join the Lenox and St. Stephens teen organizer community, and the mission was to bring together the youth,  fight for jobs, and help put a stop to the violence in the city. Every Tuesday and Thursday it would be meeting, Training and meeting, so, I started doubting my decision of joining the organizing team. Months went by and it seems like I didn’t find any ones of my so claim power or special talents, so I became less interested and I started to believe that I just didn’t have one. Then, one week I was assigned to the lead the youth job rally, I had to make a speech at the state house, and met with some members of senate and congress team, right then and there I was on the path to finding my voice. When the day came to lead the rally, I transform into someone I barely recognize.  I was screaming, chanting, demanding for more youth jobs, with a  burst of energy and a heart full of passion, I finally recognize what my power was I didn’t have the power to fly or teleport but I had the power to stand up for an important cause and make a different.

Belittle by strangers

Applying to college was one of the worst roller coaster ride I’ve ever got one and not getting to go to my dream school was one of the most heart breaking things I had to deal with. Throughout high school, I worked very hard to get into my dream school, from having the right grades, to the clubs, to sport, and the after school curricular, I did it all to get it. When the time came to send out college application, they were the first one send out, and the last one I heard from. I remember coming home and seeing that envelop and got so excited and so nervous at the same time. I tried feeling it to see if there was a tape banner inside because that would mean that I am accepted, I didn’t feel anything, so I grew more nervous. I waited three days to open it, hopping that if it wasn’t an acceptance letter, it would magically change overnight. When I finally opened it, it felt like I won a million bucks. I got accepted with a merit scholarship of 25,000 year for four years if I maintain a certain G.P.A, man I was happy, until I look at my financial and saw my gap with how much loans I would have to take. Right then and there I knew it was a bad sign, but I told myself not to give up. So, I tried every way I could think to go to the school, from writing the financial office to calling the school almost every day, still nothing. So focus on that specific school, I totally about the rest and complete miss all the deadlines. When I finally snap out of it, it was too late to call the other schools and all that work was for nothing. I was completely devastated.  When the time came to tell the school what college you decided to go to, everyone was so excited to talk about getting into their dream school and I didn’t want no part of it.  Secretly, I envied them, for all the right but wrong reasons. I didn’t feel like they worked as hard as I did or it’s not fair they got more money, and the list goes one, but I couldn’t blame it was my fault, I was to focused on just one school, so after crying and being mad I decided to get over it. I told myself that was another way, and maybe its good thing I didn’t go.

Strengthening

Practice makes perfect! I find that reading about movements and watching inspirational movies helps me when the time comes to stands up for things that I am passionate about. I think that  meditating have help me a lot, it’s like taking the time out to  evaluated things and cleanse the mind of many toxic thoughts. Classical masterpiece help balance and inspire me. I think several of things works in many different ways.